Beware of goddesses bearing gifts

So I’m at Janet’s place for a party. My contribution is a case of fruit I brought back from my Caribbean vacation. I know Janet from the gym - we’re both weight lifters. Haven’t known Janet for long so this is a sort of ‘Let’s get acquainted’ party. She seems shy. So far all she’s revealed about herself is that her business is ‘Ah, something akin to dream weaving.’

I’m bantering with this small group when we’re interrupted. “Excuse me for intruding,” this drunk slurs,intruding, “I hear you got the uglies. You really got a case of the uglies?”

I’m perplexed. Is he talking to me? Or the person next to me? I don’t think of myself as a knock-out but I ain’t ugly. I’m a body building queen. And you addressing me as ‘man’? That’s it.

So I pounded that Jamaican boy’s ass. Then stood over him and screamed, “No one gets away with calling me ‘man’! I’m the Queen! I am Woman! And yes, you better capitalize it when addressing me!”

Kinda ruined the party - paramedics and all asking “What happened?” But Janet. She covered my ass.

Found out several days later he was saying ugli, not ugly. Apparently, that case of fruit I brought was his childhood favorite.

Oops.