I grew up in the Styx

Sorry, I mean Sticks (god damn autocorrect). Styx is a destination. Charon. Yeah. We have a date. He’s taking me on a magic ferry ride. Wanna come along? No? Okay. I’ll see you there soon enough.

Mikey got with Sharon,
Sharon got Sharee,
she was sharing Sharon's outlook on the topic of disease, .....

they were all in love with dying,
they were drinking from a fountain,
that was pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain.
  — Avalanche, butt hole surfers.

—

I aways thought the lyric was a reference to Charon (before I realized it’s pronounced Kair-uhn, not Shair-uhn). Nevertheless, from Charon’s view that avalanche must be too true. There are approximately 50 human million deaths per year, all of which result in a ride in Charon’s boat. Charon set up operation in the Greek mind more than 3000 years ago. Probably didn’t anticipate the fountain of dying would become such a gusher. The human population of earth was only about 30-60 million when he was born/invented. The fountain of dying was a mere trickle.

Roughly 100 billion people have employed, or tried to employ (hundred year wait if you arrived sans obolus) Charon during recorded history, all needing a ride to the Mystery.

Fifty-some million folks are definitely moving to Hades this year. They say you can’t take it with you. Makes me think about what might be Hades’ currency. Also makes me wonder why Christians segregated it into Heaven and Hell. Hades was neutral before they came along (further research has shown that assertion to be false, but I’m going to KellyAnne it through as an alternative fact).

No matter what happens prior to your delivery down the mountain, Charon is an equal opportunity rower. So long as you have an obolus in your mouth. But that fee was way back when. What do you suppose an obolus is worth now?

After stepping off Charon’s boat on the far shore of the Styx, one realizes that housing in Hades must be expensive. You gave your life just to be here. And there’s really no backing out once you’re there. Cerberus insures that. You’ve been reduced to a poor soul seeking shelter. It’s a low estimate that there are a trillion trillion solar systems in the universe (No I’m not inserting the Wikipedia link here. Trust me or do due diligence). Say a quarter of those have, or will have at some point, the ability to support earth-like life. So maybe it’s not hard to find housing. After all you’re just a soul. Light as an aura, as expansive as the universe. Just pick one of the myriad earth-like planets and settle in. Okay, so a hundred billion are already occupied, but there’s trillions still awaiting buyers.

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