MicroSauna

I’ve been going to the gym daily (Ok. Ok. For a few days) and feeling so so stiff a few hours later. I’m thinking I should get a hot tub or a sauna but I don’t want to be troubled with owning more stuff.

Sooo...the microwave sauna. A natural extension of the tanning bed, no? Except you don’t have to undress. I’m thinking of an apparatus similar to a TSA scanner. But then, nah, something handheld would be nicer. Well, shit. Let’s have both.

I come home from the gym and walk through my SaunaPortal (TM), low intensity microwaves bathe my body, frequency set to penetrate a centimeter or so, just enough for a relaxing thermal glow - Relaxation without Realization’ I call it. Then later, lounging in my recliner, I feel a twinge in my quadriceps, pull out my handheld SaunaFist (TM) and glide it across my thigh. And sigh. I know I’ll sleep better tonight having used my MicroSauna (TM) devices