Monday morning

“Remember me? Remember me?” I shout as your entourage passes.

You smile. Snidely?

How would I know?

I reach out but

You’re gone.

I think it’s okay. Leave me alone. I just want to be alone and sad for awhile. A minute? A mile? It’s not measurable. It could melt away while I’m standing outside in a warm rain; or last until I smile again.

‘Just passing through’ she murmured in my ear whilst shredding my heart with love, then absence.

The triage team brusquely examines me. “Let’s move on..” Wide-eyed, terrified, the word ‘But?’ bubbles through my bloody throat.

Ah. What happened? The conversation about their life and my jealous reaction ‘I want that!’ knowing it’s a dream. That makes it cruel. So I want what we had. Did growth intercede?

The more I thought about it I realized it was all my fault. It always is.