Revere's Complaint

I suppose everyone means well, but they’re still assholes. Who throws pennies on a grave? What am I, a fucking crypt keeper for a wishing well? They put an eternal flame on JFK’s plot, and mine looks like the inside of a goddamn slot machine. It’s horseshit, just like what came out of the back of my midnight ride partner.

Sure, I was a coppersmith for a stretch there. You think that’s why they do it? I haven't seen that plaque anywhere along the Freedom Trail. It's not memorialized in history books. Don’t pretend that’s the reason. No one’s throwing cent pieces onto Lincoln’s tomb, are they? And his fucking face is on the goddamned things!

I mostly worked in silver, and was frankly quite innovative in my time. You can call me a Luddite in retrospect, but then it's clear you also don’t understand the late 18th century. We hadn’t settled in enough for a Henry Ford yet, let alone the technology to standardize things, and anyway, building systems isn't the same as craftsmanship. Not to mention the revolution that was in the air. Who the hell wanted to be perceived as regulated?

But I digress. Throwing these coins onto my resting place only reinforces how worthless they are, and maybe that's what upsets me most. I honestly risked life and limb to help found this country. I was willing to be bayonetted for the cause. Mine was a full life, that of a true American entrepreneur. I founded a company that still endures in two states today, and damn it, I deserve better than this. Stop throwing fucking pennies at me. It's cheap.