‘Twas but a glance, my lady.

Done with my routine, I’m cooling down by walking through the gym. I pass this woman and her daughter. The mom’s t-shirt says something about calculus. Piqued my curiosity so I look closer. The t-shirt’s slogan, “I love calculus” is scrawled across her ample chest.

“Good for you. I wish more people did,” I called to her.

She replied, “You’ve got to differentiate yourself, integrate the result, and you're back to yourself. It’s the fundamental theorem of calculus.”

Not really. Actually, she spat, “Stop looking at my tits!”

Women confuse me. Why put an interesting slogan across your breasts yet get annoyed when I read it and compliment you for it?

It’s not my fault that I’m a slow reader.