What was I thinking?

I once worked as a bartender at a seaside resort for a summer. A guy comes in, slaps some money on the bar and says, “Gimme a near beer.” So I drew a sudsy and placed it just out of his reach.

A young woman bellied up to the bar and boldly asked for Mai Tai. “Sorry ma’am. I can’t help you. I’m not wearing one.”

Big dude sits down and simply states “Margarita.” I reply, “Upstairs. Third door on the left.” It was that kind of place.

Cute college coed scooted her bottom unto a barstool and asked for ‘sex on the beach’. My attempt to fill that order cost me my job.