Yeah, it’s just one more

Fuck! Drunken ass bitch busts into my bathroom as I sit on the toilet.

WTF escapes my mouth as I watch this gal do the two step stumble and bang her head on my Persian rug which covers, but not quite, my aqua tiled bathroom flooring (little secret.. I like to eat breakfast in the bathroom. Kinky. Right?)

But FUCK! She be bleeding out on my favorite rug. And that’s an expensive rug.

I could just shoot her. Course that’s gonna further defile my rug. I’m pissed and it’s all her fault, their fault, someone’s fault. It’s not my fault. IT’S NOT MY FAULT!

Her 3rd grader triplets tumble through the bathroom door looking for Mommy.

Perfect. I stand, pants still around my ankles, grab (don’t leave my room without it) my AK 47 and fire. It’s amusing to see her futile attempt to protect them. “It’s an AK47 bitch.”

Ah, Jesus. My blood soaked Persian is ruined. And it’s all her fault, their fault. IT’S NOT MY FAULT.

Cause I was Born in the USA.